Huna and Ho'oponopono Archives - The Career Success Doctor

Do You Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway?

Listening to the radio over the weekend, I heard an interview with someone who has undergone gender reassignment. She talked about the unhappiness of her teenage years, and the presenter remarked how wonderful it would be if you could stretch back over time, and reassure that teenager that it would all be alright. Made me think, there are times when I need to stretch back over time and draw out some of the qualities I had had a a teenager – in particular the quality of hell to the fear, just do it anyway.

I was profoundly unhappy as a teenager (school doctor put me on valium at 13) bullied, etc, and, by way of protection I put up a ‘I don’t care, I’m tough’ facade. (That, I don’t want from my teenage self, thanks very much). And I would go off and do things, just to prove that I was tough. Things that underneath really scared me – like going off to work with Palestinian refugees, and getting myself into genuinely dangerous situations, or taking taxis on my own at night when we lived in Brasil, which was perceived as dangerous by everyone except my father!

I am no longer scared of whether people will accept me for who I am, which is a huge relief, and I have started to rediscover my ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’. But there are times when it is so easy to get busy and do stuff as way of not having to face the fear, or just pretend I don’t know what I need to do, as a way of not doing that which scares me.

Which is probably why I’ve started to move my business in the direction of helping others deal with the fears that hold them back. It’s something I love doing and have a talent for. I have a great range of tools and techniques and insights, which mean I can help them do it FAST.

My current fear is wonderfully ridiculous – it’s doing a google hangout (a business thing)! I have no problem talking in public whatsoever (as many of my friends can testify – can’t shut me up on a stage), but this whole hangout thingy has me in paralysis. I have had generous offers of help, but still I can’t quite bring myself to the table. It’s not what I would say – it’s the technology – despite the fact I am comparatively very tekkie. Tried hangouts a while back and did not enjoy.

I start to understand what my mother went through when she asked me to teach her how to use the internet. We’d have a session, she’d get it, do it all by herself successfully, then found myriad excuses why not to practice when I wasn’t there. My patience eventually wore out – payback time I guess!

And of course, now I have gone out into the world and said hangouts terrify me, I HAVE to do something with them.

Gratitude, Chocolate And Why I’m All Teary

Written by The Career Success Doctor

Moonset Hawaii I’ve just come back from teaching Huna to a fair sized group of delegates, and the overwhelming emotion it has left me with is one of gratitude: I am just so grateful that I get to do this, and do it in Hawai’i, and that there are so many amazing people supporting me on my journey.

I’ve been teaching on Matt James’ Huna workshop for nearly 10 years now. However, its only recently that I’ve had to really step up and take myself out of my comfort zone to teach day in, day out, to teach material that I haven’t used for a while, or to organise other people to make things happen. And one of the things this dis-comfort has made realise is that I don’t have to struggle on my own. Independence is all very well, but there comes a time when you just have to accept help from others. And this trip, that was what I did.

I felt cosseted – people fed me, gave me chocolate (really good chocolate!), and even did my washing for me, which is a big one when you’re spending 2 weeks in a hotel!) They offered help – and meant it. And now, people who have no direct connection with Huna are offering to help me start teaching it over here. It truly fills me with a sense of just how magnificent human beings are, and how lucky I am to be tapped in to people who have such generosity of spirit. I am indeed humbled. Just thinking about the generosity of my friends and acquaintances over the last few weeks brings tears to my eyes.

Because sadly, it’s so easy to get trapped in the humdrum of daily life that we forget that we all do have that generosity of spirit. I’ve been there many times. And in that state, it’s so easy, too, to forget to be grateful, or to think that you don’t have time to show your appreciation.

‘So what’s this got to do with my career?’ I hear you ask. Well, a lot actually. I was reading about a recent report that indicates that employees feel that bosses don’t show enough appreciation. At the same time, what bosses and employees think of as ‘appreciation’ is very different. If you want to be appreciated as an employee, why not start by appreciating others and actively, consciously noticing those things in life that give you joy? At the very least, it will cheer you up. As like as not, it will rub off onto others. And since appreciation attracts appreciation, it might well bring you some of that recognition you’re looking for.

If you are a boss, bear in mind that 80% of employees say they are motivated to work harder when their boss shows appreciation – even down to thank you cards, or little treats. Thankfully, the days when everyone thought they had to be a complete ball-breaker in order to demonstrate that they had leadership potential are over, at least in the majority of companies and industries. What a relief that is!

So now, with gratitude, I am off to ponder one of those rather splendid chocolates someone gave me. She knows who she is.

Gratitude, chocolate and tears

The Healing Power Of Woo-Woo: Hawaiian Style

Written by The Career Success Doctor

Twice a year I come to Hawai’i to study and teach Huna, the life philosophy of the Hawaiians. And that’s where I am right now.

I feel enormously privileged to be here, and to be able to do this. It’s always hectic, particularly once the students start turning up, and I have to put energy into ensuring that everything is in place for them to have a really great experience, yet each time I do this, I grow too. It’s always a salutary reminder of just how rewarding it is to support others in their journey.

Huna’s been a lifesaver for me. I used to say, when people asked me what it is, that it’s the spiritual, psychological, energetic and healing practices of the ancient Hawaiians, but the truth is so much more than that. The Hawaiians don’t separate Huna from Being. For them, all these things we Westerners strive to study are just a natural part of living, of being healthy in mind, body and spirit.

We teach Huna in a Western way, to suit the Western mind. For me, growing up in a rather traditional British family, the idea we might all be connected, that my judgements and reactions to others might reflect judgements I make about myself and emotions I have suppressed, just did not feature in the way we lived life. My mum, a trained nurse, was deeply hostile to anything psycho. Psychiatry, psychology, being psychic, all were anathema, weirdness, unscientific, unproven, a sign of weakness. And as for meditation, well! God was OK, though, and Sunday was Church day (which turned out to be quite profitable for me as I got paid to sing in the choir!)

That attitude was common back in the day. It’s wonderful that people are becoming much more open to the idea that we have both a conscious and an unconscious mind, that we are connected, that there is something of a higher order, be it god, the universe, the collective, that just because you can’t see energy doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. You can’t see electricity either, but come the power cut we all know it exists!

If you’re finding life stressful, or you’re feeling out of flow, then here are a couple of Huna tips that might help you.

1. Breathe. When Captain Cook and his merry men first showed up in Hawai’i, the Hawaiian’s called them haole. Literally it means no-breath. Hawaiians take the time to breathe deeply, in through the nose, before doing or saying anything important. Breathing brings oxygen into your lungs – vital for organ health and brain function.

2. Come from a spirit of aloha – love. Honour other people, other beings, and the connection we all share. That doesn’t mean you have to hang around with people who sap your energy – but do respect their right to be on the planet, and learn what you need to learn from them.

3. If something gives you energy (real energy, not crash and burn energy) then do more of it. If it doesn’t , then stop doing it! Energy drinks are a classic example. We take energy drinks because we THINK they give us energy. A friend of mine was knocking back 5 or more a day, and decided to give it a rest for a few weeks. After the first few days, he couldn’t believe how much more energy and focus he had once he left the energy drinks behind.

If you’d like to know more about Huna and the Hawaiian approach to living well, leave a comment below this post. I’d love to know your experiences with the world of woo-woo.

Do You Feel Bored With Life?

Written by The Career Success Doctor

Most people feel bored, or at least feel a certain kind of sameness in their lives from time to time, but for many, that ‘I feel bored with life’ feeling is par for the course. It’s perpetual, it never seems to go away. It’s living life in the grey zone. Same stuff, different day syndrome (SSDD).

I’ve certainly experienced that in the past. I can think of three extended periods since I was 16 where I craved frequent excitement or just something different. And sometimes getting off my face with my mates seemed the only way to accomplish it. I stopped going down that route when I woke up one day and realised that getting mind-blowingly drunk or taking naughty drugs might be fine in the moment, but it left me even more miserable the following day, or even for an entire week.

It took me a few years to learn to appreciate the joy in small things. I’ve learned that my desire for rebellion and excitement is much better satisfied by doing something I’m passionate about, which matters to me and enables me to live my purpose, than it ever was by doing things which are illegal or being different for the sake of being different.

Does my career still throw up tasks which I’d rather not do because they are rather tedious, even boring or routine? Most certainly? Things to do with detail tend to have that effect on me, which is why proof-reading drives me nuts! (And apologies to all regular readers who spot the typos I have missed).

Do I miss the adrenalin rush that goes with the risk of taking drugs (that’s risk on a number of levels) or shopping beyond my means? Actually, no.

If I really need an adrenalin rush, then I can go zip lining/bungie jumping/horse riding, or just plunge into a rather cold swimming pool. I can do something that takes me way out of my comfort zone like phoning someone who I barely know and asking them to participate in an online conference I’m going to be running in the summer. (Believe me, that one has my adrenalin sky-rocketing!)

What To Do When Your Feel Bored And It’s Affecting Your Life

All those thoughts were prompted by yet another great article from Dr Matt James. Matt has this knack of hitting the spot with his articles, and this one on ‘Same Stuff Different Day’ is no exception. He explains the problem clearly and offers solutions, including

ho’oponopono (the Hawaiian forgiveness and release technique). I particularly recommend clicking on the link in the article to download his free ho’oponopono tracks. (Hot tip: you need to download both tracks – track 1 is the explanation, track 2 is the guided technique)
taking action
maintaining focus.

You can read the rest of Dr. Matt’s article, and get the link to his ho’oponopono track here.