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How Mad Is The High Heels At Work Debate?

Written by The Career Success Doctor

High Heels At WorkThanks to an actress called Nicola Thorp, the ridiculousness of the rather mad ‘you must wear high heels at work’ debate has been thrust into the public consciousness of the UK . If you’re UK based and don’t know the story you’ve probably been living under a rock, but the basics are that Nicola, a resting actress doing some temp work, was told that, to be a receptionist at global accountancy and consultancy firm PWC, she would have to wear high heels. She refused, and told her story to the media, thus inspiring a huge discussion about the sexism of it all.

One of the best commentaries on this I have read appeared in The Guardian, where the writer, Caroline Cadwalladr (she must be Welsh with a name like that), rails against the curse of the high heel as an instrument of deformity, and comments on why we should speak out about it.

I adore beautiful shoes, and heels, but for the last 10 or 15 years I have had to leave them behind. I have hyper-mobile (i.e. weak) knee and ankle joints, so I am unstable at the best of times. Your high heel makes me more unstable. The hyper mobility has brought with it various knee and foot problems which I can only keep in check by wearing orthopaedic insoles, and you try wearing those with a pair of high heels! It’s really, really tricky, because I now have to wear extra wide shoes, and finding elegant versions of such things is a nightmare. I have heel-envy as only someone who can only wear old lady shoes can have heel-envy.

What Are The High Heels At Work Issues?

It seems to me that  there are several issues to disentangle from this whole story. The most obvious is the illogical attitudes of certain organisations to the professional dress code. Back in the day, it was regarded as bad form if women had bare legs, or wore sleeveless or low plunging blouses or tops. In certain organisation this is still the case.The reason? Immodesty. Now can someone please explain what is modest about a 3-4 inch heel? And in those same organisations, women were (and often still are) expected to wear skirts, not trousers. Trousers – which are generally so much more practical – were regarded as women trying to be too much like men; not feminine enough.

I’m not an image consultant, but I do believe this stems from a kind of sexism where women are expected to look the little woman. OK, Louis XIV wore heels for dancing and other courtly activities, and men wore heels to stop their feet sliding through their stirrups, but in general the men avoided the 4 inch plus heel. High heels make you unstable, and thus vulnerable and, er… womanly. Similarly pencil skirts (yes, some organisations still expect their women to wear pencil skirts). Have you ever tried to move at any speed in a pencil skirt? Like the high heel, it emphasises our femininity, and our bums.

We women also have to bear some responsibility in all this. For many women, heels signify empowerment, they raise us up, they make us feel taller, grander, more feminine, sexy and, yes, professional too. We choose to wear the bloody things on nights out, to weddings and garden parties (as your stiletto sinks into the damp grass). Why then do we complain when male-dominated institutions say we should wear heels to work, given we love them so much out of work?

While many men are supportive of the women who are protesting about the high heels at work issue, some still think we should just suck it up. The argument often runs along the lines of ‘women have more dress choice and men have to conform to dress codes too’ lines. This little gem from news.com in Australia is a great example. But of course, men have not had to put up with many years of sexism and inequality, and I think many of them feel challenged when women stop saying nothing, which is our more usual habit, and speak out for what we think is our right. In this case the right to choose to have healthy, comfortable feet.

Today if a client has something to say about my shoes (and it has happened), I talk about my infirmity. I no longer feel the need to hide it, and it generally embarrasses them into an uncomfortable silence. I have turned down job offers from organisations who told me I had to conform to a no-trousers dress code, or they didn’t like my jewellery. Because the way I saw it, and still see it, if you work full time, you spend more of your waking hours at work than you do with your partner or family. If your values and those of your employer don’t coincide, or at least match on the points that really matter, that’s an awful long time to be spending in that environment.

Photo via Pixabay under Creative Commons Licence

Filed Under: Career, Career success, Executive Career Coaching, Social Tagged With: Caroline Cadwalladr, dress codes for women, femininity, high heels at work

The Power Of Connection When You Come From The Heart

Written by The Career Success Doctor

Panoramic view of St Andrews and old St John Of Jerusalem Eye HospitalYesterday I had a powerful, and emotional experience that came as a result of making a connection, and it got me thinking. Then today, I received a LinkedIn message from someone who I had helped out with a free resource back in 2011.She couldn’t remember how she knew me, but my name and what the fact that I specialise in career coaching had stuck with her. And now she has an opportunity for me. That’s the power of connection when you give of yourself unconditionally.

Anyway, back to yesterday, when I gave a talk to the supporters of The St John Of Jerusalem Eye Hospital. The hospital and its outposts offer eye-related health services in Palestine. Their patients are of all races and all religions. Blindness is a real issue in those parts, and their services are world class, yet hardly anyone outside Palestine has ever heard of them.

I’d been asked to talk to them because my mother had left them a legacy. She led a fairly extraordinary life in her 20s and 30s, including a spell working as theatre sister at the hospital in Jerusalem when it was a major conflict zone. She left because they had to close the place temporarily in 1948 when things became too dangerous.

I’d got the talk planned out – the real challenge was to compress things into 10 minutes – but when I walked into the hall where I was going to be giving the talk, everything changed. Around the walls are portraits of the great and the good associated with Order of St John. Each and every one wore a large Cross of St. John – the same cross as my mother wore in the old photos of her; the same cross as was on the medal they gave her for her (medical) services to the Order.

And I remembered that we’d often talked about going to St John’s Gate (the London headquarters), but we’d never made it together. Now I was standing there in St John’s Gate without her, talking about her life, because she had died and left them some money.

That changed my talk, I can tell you! All I could do was speak from the heart, and who knows what I said, but it made a connection with many of the people there, some of whom wanted to stay in touch. It was a far better talk than the one I had planned!

The funny thing is that it nearly didn’t happen. I knew two years ago that the St John’s Eye Hospital wanted to get in touch to thank me for my mother’s legacy, but I really couldn’t be bothered. Recently they contacted Mum’s lawyer again, so reluctantly I got in touch. And yesterday I met some extraordinary people, doing life-changing work in a very difficult place, and was able to celebrate my mother’s life with them.

It’s so easy to miss these chance connections, to ignore the opportunities, but it’s amazing how powerful and even life-changing the most unlikely contacts can be.

What unlikely requests for contact have you responded to unconditionally which have then proved worthwhile – whether in terms of happiness or success or wonderfully unexpected consequences? Feel free to comment in the box.

If you want to know more about what The St John Of Jerusalem Eye Hospital does, here’s the link.

Filed Under: Happiness, Social Tagged With: Connection, Power Of Connection, St John Of Jerusalem Eye Hospital, St John's Gate

Do You Feel Bored With Life?

Written by The Career Success Doctor

Feeling Bored With LifeMost people feel bored, or at least feel a certain kind of sameness in their lives from time to time, but for many, that ‘I feel bored with life’ feeling is par for the course. It’s perpetual, it never seems to go away. It’s living life in the grey zone. Same stuff, different day syndrome (SSDD).

I’ve certainly experienced that in the past. I can think of three extended periods since I was 16 where I craved frequent excitement or just something different. And sometimes getting off my face with my mates seemed the only way to accomplish it. I stopped going down that route when I woke up one day and realised that getting mind-blowingly drunk or taking naughty drugs might be fine in the moment, but it left me even more miserable the following day, or even for an entire week.

It took me a few years to learn to appreciate the joy in small things. I’ve learned that my desire for rebellion and excitement is much better satisfied by doing something I’m passionate about, which matters to me and enables me to live my purpose, than it ever was by doing things which are illegal or being different for the sake of being different.

Does my career still throw up tasks which I’d rather not do because they are rather tedious, even boring or routine? Most certainly? Things to do with detail tend to have that effect on me, which is why proof-reading drives me nuts! (And apologies to all regular readers who spot the typos I have missed).

Do I miss the adrenalin rush that goes with the risk of taking drugs (that’s risk on a number of levels) or shopping beyond my means? Actually, no.

If I really need an adrenalin rush, then I can go zip lining/bungie jumping/horse riding, or just plunge into a rather cold swimming pool. I can do something that takes me way out of my comfort zone like phoning someone who I barely know and asking them to participate in an online conference I’m going to be running in the summer. (Believe me, that one has my adrenalin sky-rocketing!)

What To Do When Your Feel Bored And It’s Affecting Your Life

All those thoughts were prompted by yet another great article from Dr Matt James. Matt has this knack of hitting the spot with his articles, and this one on ‘Same Stuff Different Day’ is no exception. He explains the problem clearly and offers solutions, including

  • ho’oponopono (the Hawaiian forgiveness and release technique). I particularly recommend clicking on the link in the article to download his free ho’oponopono tracks. (Hot tip: you need to download both tracks – track 1 is the explanation, track 2 is the guided technique)
  • taking action
  • maintaining focus.

You can read the rest of Dr. Matt’s article, and get the link to his ho’oponopono track here.

 

Filed Under: Happiness, Huna and Ho'oponopono, Social Tagged With: adrenalin, adrenalin rush, boredom, Dr Matt James, feel bored with life, feeling bored, Ho'oponopono, same stuff different day

How To Make A Good Impression In Less Than 7 Seconds

Written by The Career Success Doctor

We have less than 10 seconds to make a good impression when we meet someone for the first time. Some say 7 seconds, some say less than 5. Anyway, whichever way you count it, it is SHORT! There are plenty of articles about how to do this non-verbally, using body language, but you can also do it by using the quality of your voice: not just your words, but the way you speak.

In this short video, I demonstrate exactly how you can quickly build rapport – a sense of liking or trust or relationship – very quickly by matching your volume, speed and pitch with that of your interviewer, important business contact, or whoever it is you need to make a good impression on.

If you are keen to make a good impression quickly, then practice the three tips shown in this video. They could help you win friends and influence people. They could even help you win the job of your dreams.

If you have any comments or questions, do leave them in the box below. I’d love to know what you think.

Filed Under: Business, Career, Social Tagged With: Build Rapport, How To Make A Good Impression, make a good impression, use your voice, voice

Beauty Tips & Tricks For The Holiday Season

Written by Natalia

Beauty Tips & Tricks For The Holiday SeasonThe holiday season has just begun and you have a lot of plans for the next ten days. Whether they are family get-togethers, going out with friends, or glamorous parties, there is no doubt that you want to look your best.

Knowing that this festive season can be quite a frenzied time, I’ve collected the top 6 articles with beauty tips and tricks that will help you look gorgeous to all these under-the-mistletoe moments.

1. Murphy’s law: “If anything can go wrong, it will”. We have all experienced all these last minute disasters at least once in our life. Faith Xue’s article in Makeup.com is truly a lifesaver! And believe me, her solutions work! I’ve personally done at least half of these tricks.

It’s Murphy’s makeup law – no matter how much we try to plan ahead, it seems like last-minute beauty emergencies always spring up during the holiday season. Luckily, we here at MDC have experienced our fair share of makeup mishaps and have learned from our mistakes. Not one to keep secrets, today we’re sharing our solutions for four of the most-common holiday beauty emergencies. You can thank us with a hot mug of spiced cider…

Read her article here “4 Last Minute Holiday Beauty Emergencies, Solved!”

2. This old article in Marie Claire has saved me a lot of time! And we are always in a hurry during this period.

Got a need for speed? Between basting a the turkey, refilling the eggnog, and making sure that no one is opening their gift earlier than they should be — who has time for hair and makeup? Here, some quick and easy hair and makeup tips to keep you looking chic from Thanksgiving through New Year’s!

Here is the link to the article “10 Fast Holiday Hair and Makeup Tricks”

3. For an alternative on the second tip of the previous article, you can use Shana Astrachan’s DIY dry shampoo recipe, featured in this article by Laura, in Modcloth.

We invited DIY beauty expert Shana of Fox & Doll back to share another one of her original recipes. Last time, she showed us how to make an au naturel lip exfoliator, but this time it’s all about hair and achieving a refreshed look in a cinch!

Read her article here “A Quick Fix: How to Make DIY Dry Shampoo”

4. Speaking of speed, you should read Molly Triffin’s time-saver article in Cosmopolitan. Did you know that you could shrink a zit with the help of an ice cube?

Have a big date or party coming up and just a couple of days to prepare for it? We have shortcuts to looking head-to-toe spectacular.

Read the whole article here “Look Amazing — In Just 48 Hours”

5. I’m pretty sure you are going to love this one! All women’s constant concern, when applying makeup, is “how am I going to cover this?” Well, Michelle Villett with her article in Beautyeditor has got you covered!

(…) There is one area I actually do consider myself quite proficient at, and that is the art of camouflage. Probably you got the hint seeing as I’ve posted about this incessantly. (I’m not joking: I’ve talked about the most common foundation mistakes, why I love HD powders, my favourite foundations, whether you need to re-think how you’re using concealer, and how I have a concealer wardrobe.) Skin is really, REALLY important.

And let’s face it: nobody cares about your artful liquid liner application if you’ve got a flaming red spot stealing all the attention. Or a cold sore, or dark circles. So from me to you, here’s your guide to hiding all the bad so people can focus on the good.

Here is the link to this absolute must-read “How to cover absolutely anything (zits! cold sores! dark circles!)”

6. The last article might not be ‘holiday-themed’ but it is an amazing trick! How many times have you dropped your makeup powder or blush? And after breaking it, you threw it to the garbage, right? Not anymore! There is a way to fix it and Sharona Fizhadze in her article, in her blog ‘The Dramaterialist’, tells us how.

We all have had it happen once before: you rush to get yourself ready for a night out or you’re quick to grab something out of your bag, and BAM, you drop your makeup powder. What once smooth and practical is now all messed up in little pieces and you instantly think to throw it away..

Read her article here “Fix up broken makeup”

Finally yet importantly, the next tip is not in an article. However, the key factor to looking good, the best beauty tip of all time is this: Enjoy yourself! When you feel good, when you are happy it just shows! So go out there and have a great time with people you love!

 

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Filed Under: Happiness, Social Tagged With: beauty tips & tricks, Christmas, holiday season

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